Introversion. Also, boys.

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I hope they’re wrong, for my own sake. But that’s all I’ll say on that.
After a season of turning outward, of doing things externally, being more extroverted, the other end of the teeter totter is slowly dropping. My life of extremes is a balance, just over time. Perhaps it’s the colder weather heralding a time of hibernation. All I know is that my desires turn more than ever towards self-reflection, imagination, quiet activities and solitude. I must keep from getting too lazy, though. Physical therapy seems to be getting harder and I weaker, so I will do my best not to neglect my physical training completely in the face of a growing pile to to-be-read books, drawers of creative projects, vocal music, my guitar, meditation, Asian food, and a full queue on Netflix.
I’ve completely busted NaNoWriMo this year (again), but I have written more this month than usual, so that’s something. Though no excuse, the boy-drama in my life this past month has been very stressful. Not used to having to deal with the male race except on a professional (medical) level, re-entering the dating world was an exciting and shocking experience, and still is. Normal girls grow up with male friends near their own age and at some point down the line a few show interest in her as more than a friend. She might date a few guys and she learns through the years something of what to expect or at least a more specific view of what she wants. I didn’t have that, I had books, rats, an empty house and multiple diseases. So here I am, having learned innumerable lessons about life but few about love. But I’m learning and better late than never, I suppose.

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Books books books

You would think I’d know better than to overload myself with reading expectations, especially when I’m doing the reading for stress relief or for learning to care for myself better. I become so overwhelmed by what I “should” be reading that I start too many books at a time and can’t give anything the attention it deserves or that I want to give it. Thus, days can go by without me getting any substantial reading done and I feel empty and frustrated.
So, I am affirming that I will keep it simple. Yes, there are a lot of wonderful books in the world that I would undoubtedly benefit from but I will go through them one or two at a time and trust that Goddess will bring the right books into my life when it’s the right time for me to read them. “When the student is ready the teacher will appear.”

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Marginalia

When I was a young teen and starting to read more voraciously than ever I ran into a problem. I had precious little money to spend on books and it certainly wasn't enough to keep up with my literary appetite.

My sister and our close friend Jessie often read the same books at the same time. There was no money in either family to buy books in threes and so what we did was see who would pay for just one copy. As our days were spent mostly in each other's company we were able to share that one book, passing it between the three of us.

It was then that we discovered a clever way of experiencing the book together. We would, each in turn, write in the margins of said book or make doodles. Sometimes the notes merely pointed out what we found funny, profound or satisfyingly romantic. Other times the notes took on a philosophical tone. As the book was passed along we would each write our own marginalia and comment on what was previously written.

The books holding these notes became treasures, personalized by our thoughts, written there as neighbors to the original text. Often we would re-read these books months or years later and marvel at how we had changed or laugh at our doodles and jokes. We began to date the marginalia as we started to put in new notes. Through this process these books became more precious than ever.

Now that me, my sister and Jessie have grown and have money to buy our own books the marginalia has come to a stop. I will sometimes write a little note next to a text but usually only as a reminder to myself about how I interpreted it.

When I saw this article, though, I decided that my books needed far more marking up. Who knew that others had discovered the same mysterious way of communicating with other readers that my sister, Jessie and I had? A way of communicating that has a magic that Facebook, Twitter or email can ever replace.

Though not quite the same, I was happy to discover that my Kindle ebook reader had a feature for highlighting and making notes on passages and that these could be shared with other Kindle users.

As long as there are creative readers out there who have opinions about what they are reading I doubt that the phenomenon of marginalia will never die.

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Green Goddess

If you haven't seen the movie Crazy Sexy Cancer by Kris Carr, you need to see it. Now. Go! Okay, finish reading this blog first. Then go watch the movie.

Inspired by Kris I got myself a cheap juicer from Target. Oh the beauty! Oh the convenience! Do you have any idea how many dark, leafy, wonderful greens I get into my body everyday? A lot! And then there's the carrots, apples, grapes or whatever else I feel inspired to chuck in the juicer. Note to self: I do not like tomatoes or beets (however good they may be for my liver) in my juice.

I feel like I'm on the top of the world after I drink my morning veggie juice. There's energy, mental clarity and all that good stuff. Plus, I know that in juice form I can assimilate the nutrients I need right away without my liver having to put itself through the paces. And we all know how much trouble Becca has assimilating vitamins. Plus, who wants to take a vitamin when you can have all the whole food benefits of luscious kale? Or cabbage?

I've been really getting into the raw foods diet. Not totally raw, mind you, but still very raw. This morning I had my juice which included:

1 carrot
1 apple
about 8 grapes
cabbage
kale
dandelion greens
romaine lettuce
parsley
celery
cilantro

and I had a bowl of cooked oat bran with flax seed oil and fresh blueberries.

I highly encourage everyone to do a bit of research into raw foods and a mostly raw food diet. It makes so much sense and I guarantee you'll feel better. True, I'm going through a lot of medical crap but I still manage to do my yoga, spend time outside, think happy thoughts and go on the occasional outing. The time between medical crises is so much richer, fuller and healthier.

In other news, here's what I'm reading:
-Messages from Your Angels by Doreen Virtue, Ph.D
-The Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose
-You Can Heal Your Life by Louise L. Hay
-Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips by Kris Carr

All highly recommended!

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What Becca Has Been Up To

So, I'm sure you're all wondering what I do all day, right? No? Well I'm going to tell you anyway.

Becca's To Do List

1. Start writing more of The Master Painter and hound Becky some more about the illustrations.

2. Eat more asian food. Also, try to make broth for noodles not as bland..
3. Learn to speak and read Japanese so I can read the instructions for my microwave rice cooker:

4. Organize asian food stash:

5. Make more origami stuff!

6. Bow down before the wonderful new nebulizer. Ahhhh....(Mom says I look like I'm smoking a hookah. Scott, Rayne's husband, says it's a peace pipe. Sorry guys, all I'm 'smoking' is albuterol)
7. Read more books. At the same time try not to go to the library so much...the librarians are starting to look at my suspiciously. Also, remind oneself that Odd Thomas is a fictional character and therefore cannot marry me...*sigh*

8. Work on copying asian recipes. Maybe someday I'll have people to cook for...

9. Try not to miss the foster baby rats too much (The went back to CCRR).

10. Get to Level 15 on FarmTown.

11. Prance around in my new cute clothes.

12. Try not to cry everytime I think about James and Gina moving.

13. Try not to think to hard about upcoming colonoscopy.

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