Harder and Harder to Breathe

Yesterday I finally got some energy and so I did laundry, cleaned a couple rat cages and tidied my room (including reorganizing some drawers). Then I did a past-life regression before I went to a doctor appointment. My doctor gave me a new inhaler that's usually used for people with asthma even though I don't have asthma. I have most of the symptoms just without the wheezing. My mom has asthma.

I tried one puff of the new inhaler under the supervision on a nurse at the doc's office and then went home. Gina gave me a ride and I had to talk to her about something hard, but I believe in honesty in relationships. I was so relieved that she was calm and receptive instead of angry and defensive. I mean, I didn't know how she's react.

A few hours later my breathing got harder. I tried different positions. I tried distracting myseld with book and origami. Eventually it just got to be too much. My shoulders, arms and sides hurt, possible from the exhertion it too to get a good inhale. The weird thing is that I breathe fine, it just feels like I'm not getting any air.

I called the after-office-hours-nurse-line and the nurse told me that I needed to go to the ER right away. So,, at around 8:30 PM my mom and I left for the emergency room. When I go there one of the nurses I see a lot said, "Oh, hi! Don't tell me you're sick again! You look great!"

I thanked her. I usually have no idea how I look in health terms unless someone tells me. A lot of the time it's my sister frowning at me saying, "You look really yellow". This nurse said I looked good because I didn't have "that funky orange color you usually have".

Once I was in a room the nurse who was going to care for me recognized me and said, "You look good!" I had to laugh. Apparently I'm terribly sexy even in the thoes of suffication. Later when the doctor came in the conversation was repeated. I'm a master of deception.

I think I've said before that this has caused me trouble at school in the past. I'll complain of terrible pain to my teacher and she'll look at me and see this glowing, healthy child and so she denies me a nurse visit and files some sort of note that says I'm most likely faking my illness for attention.

At the ER I was given albuterol and another drug through one of those breathing things hooked up to oxygen. Oh how good that oxygen felt! I was sad when it was gone. My lungs were listened to and I was told they sounded crackly. Not good.

The high dose of albuterol was like an awful caffine jolt. I was shaking before and now I was shaking like a crazy person. My heart was pounding in my chest.

I had a chest x-ray that looked normal so all the doctor could come up with was that I needed to give the new inhaler time to work. I was sent home in the same condition I'd come, only this time I was shaking worse.

After hooking up a humidifier in my room and propping my head up on pillows I went to bed. It took two doses of Lorazepam and an Ambien to go to sleep, but sleep I did. Until 1:30 PM. That's Ambien for you. Well, I did wake up at 8:30 with a migraine, but I popped an Imitrx and went back to sleep. That took care of the nasty thing.

This morning the breathing was hard but the rest of the day has been good. Thank goodness! I've been praying and praying and I hope you all will, too. I don't like taking drugs and only do so as a last resort. I pray first. So let's all pray and sent good thoughts and energy towards yours truly so that I can be relieved on discomfort and not have to take any drugs. That would be nice.

It's been a beautiful day. Despite the advice of my doctors I spent a lot of time outside. Sunlight and fresh air are very important for health and it makes me feel some much cheerier and realxed being outside. For me the benefits outweigh the risks.

This evening I'm getting to go on a small outing to the bookstore. I'm bringing my inhaler, though, so don't worry...