What's Been Happening

2:00 PM
My desk

So I made it through. I’m alive and the better for it.

What a crazy last five days. Here it is in an acorn:

Friday: Potassium is down despite Herculean efforts on my and the doctors’ parts. So it’s either 12 extra pills to swallow or 1 shot of liquid potassium. I’m all for the liquid so I pour some in a little measuring cup made for cough syrup and down it like a shot. Bad idea. It tasted like dead…things. I was already a bit on the nauseous side and the potassium concoction did not help (learned today that potassium supplements can upset the stomach. Why no one told me this before I don’t know.). I yelled a bit, jumped around, drank a lot of water and then made a sacrifice to the porcelain prince (read: I threw up).

After my performance I met Aprille for lunch (don’t worry, I didn’t eat anything). This cheered me up considerably, especially as Aprille had some new anecdotes about our friends at which we laughed and flattered ourselves that we would never be as brainless as them.

Back at home I puttered around being completely useless and nauseous. Finally my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Joe arrived from Kentucky and we got down to business. The first order of the day was tea time. Later we sauntered around Sunken Garden and then had dinner at The Cup (pronounced ‘tay cup’) and were joined by my sister Ginny/Natalie and her boyfriend Doug.

Later I went to a great NA (Narcotics Anonymous) meeting and I asked my friend Lori to be my sponsor to which she said yes. I am very excited about this. Lori is awesome. She tells it like it is. Also, she wears gemstone jewelry and is Buddhist so I think we’ll get along together splendidly.

Saturday:

Shopping with my sister and Aunt Nancy=being spoiled. She insists that it is an aunts sacred duty to spoil her nieces but it was nevertheless a bit of a culture shock for my sister and I to just toss whatever we pleased onto the register. My Aunt Nancy is a very gracious woman but also a bully. Not that I’m one to talk being a hopeless bully myself. I comfort myself by saying, “Ah, it is only because I’m the oldest child” but I know it has more to do with me just wanting to be in control so I can boss my equals around.

The Huskers played a terrible game and my poor Uncle Joe, sitting somewhere on the sidelines with other alumni had to witness it up close. Still, I think he had a good time meeting old friends and acquaintances.

Sunday:

After work we all (Gramma, Mom, Ginny, Doug, Me, Aunt Nancy and Uncle Joe) met at Green Gataeu for a lovely brunch. When we were walking back to our cars afterwards I found a pigeon that had been hit and stunned in the middle of the road. Vet Tech mode took over and I brought him over to the sidewalk to assess his injuries. He was not too badly hurt but the shock eventually got to him and he died. I stayed with him while calling animal control first to get help and then to inform them of his death. He was a beautiful bird and full of innocence. I felt blessed to have shared that encounter but sad that he had to die in such a state of stress. The spiral of life was apparent to me and I thought of this time of year when things are dying. And yet, with death new seeds are sown and the circle continues. I felt the Goddess in that circle and in the symbolic meaning of this season very strongly then.

There was more shopping but I was quickly wearing down because of all the non-stop excitement of the last few days. My body was telling me that enough was enough.

Monday:

Sat around and got more and more nauseous. By evening I could stomach nothing and longed for some proper nausea med but the Specialty Clinic was closed so I tried my best with aromatherapy, ginger tea and acupressure bracelets. Nevertheless, I was up all night. I was sorely tried.

Tuesday:

In the wee hours of the morning I could throw up no more and so mom took me to the ER. My port gave the nurses a hell of a time but eventually all was settled andthe nausea med was administered. It helped but not quite enough. Still, by that point I wanted out of the noisy, bright and uncomfortable ER and was able to leave after waiting an entire hour to be discharged.

The scary part was when the nurse asked me if I needed anything for pain. I had forgotten to show the ER doctor my letter saying that they should not give me any type of pain medicine. It would have been so easy to say that yes, I should love some pain med. But what good would it have done me? I would have become even more nauseous and been all doped up with no mind of my own; and let me tell you I am so done with that. Since I wasn’t in any pain it was easy to say no. I am very afraid of narcotics now, which is a good thing, but if I am in a certain mood and in a lot of pain…well, those drugs start to look pretty good. Still, the experience of being asked so matter-of-factly if I wanted some drugs was shaking to me and later that day when I was napping the experience came back to haunt me more than a couple times.

I continued to be very sick throughout the day and in the late afternoon was taken to the hospital to have some more nausea medicine. I think it would have helped if I hadn’t had to ride in a car there and then back home. However, that night I started feeling better. I took it easy with the food just in case but, mercy of mercies, I was able to sleep through the night.

Wednesday/Today:

I woke up with a migraine but I brushed that off as I was so happy that my stomach was finally better. I went to my doctors appointment and got some things going to try and help but I’m sure the worst is over.

I celebrated by filling my new prescriptions and buying some yummy and easily digestible food at Open Harvest.

Finally I can get back to my life.

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Health Update

Whoa. I am so totally overdue for a health update. Sorry, people.

I'm afraid that this time the lack of news is not because I've been doing great but rather because I've been so busy being sick/being in the hospital.

My main problem has been headaches and migraines. Yes, there is a difference. And I'll get them at the same time. We think the headaches (which start in the neck and have occurred since my aneurysm-worthy stress test) may be because of some pinched nerve from the stress test. Yesterday even had an episode where it felt like the whole right side of my brain went numb. Probably not a good sign. The other thing has been heart palpitations that can get really severe. And, of course, constipation because of the tremendous amount of narcotics I'm having to take.

I've been to the ER three times in the past week. First time for a headache. Second time for abdominal pain and vomiting and then I got a headache while I was there. Third time, last night (or rather, this morning) for a headache/migraine.

So we're thinking: NEUROLOGIST. I'm also thinking I should just be admitted to the hospital while they do investigative work so that I can have pain control. This back-and-forth from home and the ER is very tiring on all of us, especially my mom who is at her first day of school today accompanying for the Wesleyan students. It's also Natalie's first day of college at UNL! She's moved into the dorm and seems to be enjoying herself.

Anyway, in other news, the insurance stuff is stable for now.

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Fever

Yesterday I woke up with swollen tonsils and glands. I could hardly swallow of cough. I don't really remember much of what I did yesterday. I think I slept. Oh, yeah, I remember. I sort of went into a coma. As in, I slept really, really hard.

In the evening I had all this horrible pain and just lay in bed crying. At one point I took my temp and it was 101.5 . That meant blood cultures so off we went to the ER. I got the blood cultures plus a few other tests and some pain med. Everything came back normal. However, I've been on antibiotics for a week or two and just started a new one yesterday, so that probably made some of the tests look better. I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow morning to get checked out. There's a possibilty that this is viral and that's why antibiotics aren't working.

Today I'm about the same, though not is quite as much pain and my temp is down to 99

I have to admit I'm a bit scared as things like this can be very dangerous for someone waiting for a transplant.

On a legal note, I've just had to deal with getting out of jury duty. Also, my insurance ran out so we're racing to get something figured out until I can get disability. It's a rather stressful time.

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ER visit

I had a horrible headache and nausea today. No amount of narcotics or Imitrex was helping. I think the headache was mostly leftovers from the stress test but I'm sure some sinus pressure was added in.

I went to the ER and they gave me Zofran for the nausea and morphene for the headache. The headache didn't go completely away but I'm not complaining. The pain was just terrible. I could hardly think.

Now I'm at home and Gramma has made me cold cucumber soup and I'm reading and making lucky stars. Tomorrow I go to Omaha for my regular appointment with my liver doctor. I get to go visit my friend Rayne while I'm there which I'm looking forward to.

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Harder and Harder to Breathe

Yesterday I finally got some energy and so I did laundry, cleaned a couple rat cages and tidied my room (including reorganizing some drawers). Then I did a past-life regression before I went to a doctor appointment. My doctor gave me a new inhaler that's usually used for people with asthma even though I don't have asthma. I have most of the symptoms just without the wheezing. My mom has asthma.

I tried one puff of the new inhaler under the supervision on a nurse at the doc's office and then went home. Gina gave me a ride and I had to talk to her about something hard, but I believe in honesty in relationships. I was so relieved that she was calm and receptive instead of angry and defensive. I mean, I didn't know how she's react.

A few hours later my breathing got harder. I tried different positions. I tried distracting myseld with book and origami. Eventually it just got to be too much. My shoulders, arms and sides hurt, possible from the exhertion it too to get a good inhale. The weird thing is that I breathe fine, it just feels like I'm not getting any air.

I called the after-office-hours-nurse-line and the nurse told me that I needed to go to the ER right away. So,, at around 8:30 PM my mom and I left for the emergency room. When I go there one of the nurses I see a lot said, "Oh, hi! Don't tell me you're sick again! You look great!"

I thanked her. I usually have no idea how I look in health terms unless someone tells me. A lot of the time it's my sister frowning at me saying, "You look really yellow". This nurse said I looked good because I didn't have "that funky orange color you usually have".

Once I was in a room the nurse who was going to care for me recognized me and said, "You look good!" I had to laugh. Apparently I'm terribly sexy even in the thoes of suffication. Later when the doctor came in the conversation was repeated. I'm a master of deception.

I think I've said before that this has caused me trouble at school in the past. I'll complain of terrible pain to my teacher and she'll look at me and see this glowing, healthy child and so she denies me a nurse visit and files some sort of note that says I'm most likely faking my illness for attention.

At the ER I was given albuterol and another drug through one of those breathing things hooked up to oxygen. Oh how good that oxygen felt! I was sad when it was gone. My lungs were listened to and I was told they sounded crackly. Not good.

The high dose of albuterol was like an awful caffine jolt. I was shaking before and now I was shaking like a crazy person. My heart was pounding in my chest.

I had a chest x-ray that looked normal so all the doctor could come up with was that I needed to give the new inhaler time to work. I was sent home in the same condition I'd come, only this time I was shaking worse.

After hooking up a humidifier in my room and propping my head up on pillows I went to bed. It took two doses of Lorazepam and an Ambien to go to sleep, but sleep I did. Until 1:30 PM. That's Ambien for you. Well, I did wake up at 8:30 with a migraine, but I popped an Imitrx and went back to sleep. That took care of the nasty thing.

This morning the breathing was hard but the rest of the day has been good. Thank goodness! I've been praying and praying and I hope you all will, too. I don't like taking drugs and only do so as a last resort. I pray first. So let's all pray and sent good thoughts and energy towards yours truly so that I can be relieved on discomfort and not have to take any drugs. That would be nice.

It's been a beautiful day. Despite the advice of my doctors I spent a lot of time outside. Sunlight and fresh air are very important for health and it makes me feel some much cheerier and realxed being outside. For me the benefits outweigh the risks.

This evening I'm getting to go on a small outing to the bookstore. I'm bringing my inhaler, though, so don't worry...

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